We had our final Proverbs 31 (PR31) mentoring session with the 11–15-year-old girls I have the privilege of mentoring through my local church Testimony Hub. The focus of our final session was on gratitude and taking moments to reflect on 2025 – what we are proud of, what we loved, what we could have done better, and what we look forward to changing for 2026. One of the highlights my fellow mentor shared was her first staycation. She also spoke about her thoughts on having her first solo dining experience and how meaningful it felt for her.

Interestingly, the night before our session, I suddenly remembered an early blog draft I had written but had been debating whether to post. It was all about my first solo dining experience and the value of investing in yourself. Her sharing during our session felt like the perfect nudge I needed — sometimes, all it takes is a little spark to remind you of a story worth sharing! So, I hope you take a moment to dive in, and that you can take something away from this one!

November was an intriguing month. Somewhere between everything that was happening, I found myself intentionally carving out time just for me. I made time to slow down, think, and breathe. Those quiet moments sat alongside deep, meaningful catch-ups with dear friends whose companionship I treasure, even now, across borders and an entire Pacific Ocean. As always, I treasure solo moments, and I found myself reflecting once more on how much space opens up when you stop waiting for company. You realise that presence, clarity, and even joy don’t disappear when you’re on your own. Sometimes, that’s exactly where they show up.

Over the years, I have come to realise that there is a unique kind of stillness in choosing to spend time with yourself. It doesn’t have to be a fancy dinner; it could be breakfast at a small café, a quiet walk through a park, an afternoon in a library, or sitting in a corner with a notebook and a cup of tea. Many of us hesitate because we’ve been conditioned to believe that memorable experiences, such as meals, outings, and treats, among other things, are only meaningful when shared. But some of the most transformative moments in life happen when you are your own companion.

The First Step: Learning to Date Yourself

I still remember my very first solo dining experience. I was nervous, not because I didn’t want to be there, but because I assumed being alone would be noticed. I imagined the glances, the quiet judgements, the unspoken question of why I was sitting by myself. Part of me thought, if I was ever going to try this, it might as well be somewhere far from home, where no one knew me and expectations felt lighter. So, on my first solo trip, in Wuhan, I made my way down to the hotel restaurant and was given table number one.

The language barrier was real, and ordering quickly became a game of pointing at pictures on an iPad to get what I wanted. I couldn’t help but notice the room was split into smokers and non-smokers . I found this oddly amusing, because, well, we were all under the same roof and still inhaling cigarette smoke. This combined with the sounds of cutlery hitting plates at different points and the chatter of conversation in a foreign language made me pause and actually look around. Rather than rushing through the meal or moment I sat back and intentionally told myself to slow down and take notice of everything.

That evening turned out to be a turning point. Sitting alone, I started to feel surprisingly comfortable with my own company. I savoured the food, let my thoughts drift where they wanted, and paid attention to my surroundings without feeling pressured. I gave myself space to breathe, to think, and to process life. It was not in some heavy, overthought way, but gently, quietly, in small reflections that felt meaningful. It was the first time I really got what it meant to just be with myself, to notice life, and to let new perspectives quietly slip in.

Why Solo Time Matters

Many of us were never taught to “date” ourselves. We long for connection, friendship, or romance, yet rarely pause to cultivate that same depth of care for our own hearts. We carry expectations of others, of how they should love, treat, or notice us without having practised that intentional investment in ourselves first. Stepping into a different space, even for a short while, gives your mind and spirit room to stretch. It opens your eyes to fresh perspectives, sparks creativity, and allows you to think differently than you would within the same four walls of home and most likely seated before a screen of sorts – distracted from self.

The Spiritual Dimension

I also think spending time with yourself is not indulgence. It is stewardship. You are someone created by God, fashioned with care and intention. Taking moments to nurture your own mind, spirit, and joy honours that design. It is an act of recognising, “I am worthy of attention, love, and intentionality,” not from others first, but from yourself. In these moments, you can listen, reflect, and even hear God’s whisper more clearly than you might amid the bustle of routine or expectations. New surroundings often open up clarity and perspective that remain hidden at home.

Transforming Perspective

This practice reshapes how you engage with the world. When you stop outsourcing your joy and begin cultivating your own experiences, you stop expecting others to create for you what you haven’t yet created for yourself. You learn that celebration, clarity, appreciation and fulfilment are not contingent on other people’s schedules or recognition. They are born from your willingness to show up for your own life.

It’s natural to feel hesitant at first. Solo outings can feel awkward because we’ve been taught that they are unusual. You may imagine the stares, the questions, or assumptions. But the reality is, most people are immersed in their own lives, unaware of yours. And the first time you sit in that quiet, intentional space, it may feel strange. But by the second or third time, it becomes empowering. It becomes a sanctuary of thought, a place where you remember that you are enough, and that your life is worth celebrating, even in small, everyday ways.

Invitation

So, the next time you feel the tug to wait for someone else, don’t!! Step out, even for a moment, and be fully present with yourself. Walk into a space that allows your spirit to expand. Treat yourself to experiences that refresh your mind, honour your body, and nurture your soul. Learn to “date” yourself, to invest in your own presence, and to celebrate the one person who is always with you apart from God: you 😊

Most importantly, you begin to realign the expectations you hold of others and free yourself from the “pick me” mindset 😉. It also opens up space for honest reflection: How have I been mentally? Emotionally? Have I truly liked or loved who I have been showing up as? What adjustments do I need to make? What do I appreciate about myself, and who in my life do I truly appreciate? Sitting with these questions, even briefly, can be surprisingly clarifying. You might also try asking:

• What did I notice about my thoughts and feelings while I was alone?
• How did stepping outside my usual environment shift my perspective?
• What does this teach me about how I want to show up in my life and in my relationships?

Even pausing to consider these questions for a few minutes can open up unexpected clarity, helping you connect more deeply with yourself and with the life you are shaping.

You start to see that you don’t need validation from anyone else to create moments that matter. And in that space, a quiet truth emerges: life feels richer, your perspective broadens, and your relationship with yourself — and with God — deepens in ways you might never have imagined.

So take the step. Book that solo meal, take that walk, find that corner to just be. Give yourself the gift of your own company, and watch how the world opens up when you’re willing to show up fully for yourself.

P.S. Many thanks to my P31 Lawyer for nudging me to share this one 😄 — sometimes we all need a little push to release thoughts that will resonate and offer a little more encouragement to others!

Pss… What have been your favourite meaningful moments?